Pandemic Feelings

I had some feelings about what happened during 2020 as an essential employee with an abnormal immune system.

I had huge burdens, which are still here. That never ending to-do list eats me alive, slowly.
I had to leave all my spiritual work for mundane, my energy is finite and I had to do the immediate need over spiritual.
You see my health deteriorates with each action, this is how it feels daily.
The horrible comments from people who think I'm more deserving to die so they are not inconveinanced... from people I called friend and thought of as good people.
The empty stores which forced me to lose sleep so I could venture out daily to scrounge up some necessities. The fights people were getting into over said necessities.
The bodies and coroner vans I saw all over the neighborhoods in the beginning. It was harrowing to experience.
Feeling like I would die from over worked and over exposure, like a good cog in the machine.

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Addiction Series

This series was born out of desperation for help. Doctors were ignoring some symptoms and minimalising my experiences, like usual for women. I decided to draw out how it felt in the most grotesque, body horror way possible to get a visceral reaction from doctors. It has gotten me some diagnoses.

I will be expanding these into full glory paintings, perhaps expanding into a book.

Horror

TW: Body horror, trauma, rape, addiction, suicide. The art within depicts some heavy topics which can be triggering for some. If you are sensitive, please use caution when viewing the galleries.

Traveling through the realms of body horror, psychological terror, and the occult.

Chronic Illness Series

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This is one of my more controversial series. It was done when I was deep in my trauma as a way to not self-injure, also as a way to transmute into healing. This was included within a documentary on self injury called "Not Without Reason" in which I was featured.

The Allure: This is the stage that the addiction draws you in with all kinds of promises to stop your pain.
The Binding: This is where you become addicted to it. You may or may not realize how bad it is for you at this point.
The Struggle: This is where you are so within the throes of the addiction that it is doing major harm, but you are yet to make the choice to get better.
The Reformation: This is the painful process of transforming yourself into someone new so you don't need the addiction anymore.
Freedom: Here you are free of it and able to live your best life.