Traveling through the realms of body horror, psychological terror, and the occult.
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I had some feelings about what happened during 2020 as an essential employee with an abnormal immune system.
- I had huge burdens, which are still here. That never ending to-do list eats me alive, slowly.
- I had to leave all my spiritual work for mundane, my energy is finite and I had to do the immediate need over spiritual.
- You see my health deteriorates with each action, this is how it feels daily.
- The horrible comments from people who think I'm more deserving to die so they are not inconveinanced... from people I called friend and thought of as good people.
- The empty stores which forced me to lose sleep so I could venture out daily to scrounge up some necessities. The fights people were getting into over said necessities.
- The bodies and coroner vans I saw all over the neighborhoods in the beginning. It was harrowing to experience.
- Feeling like I would die from over worked and over exposure, like a good cog in the machine.
This series was born out of desperation for help. Doctors were ignoring some symptoms and minimalising my experiences, like usual for women. I decided to draw out how it felt in the most grotesque, body horror way possible to get a visceral reaction from doctors. It has gotten me some diagnoses.
I will be expanding these into full glory paintings, perhaps expanding into a book.
This is one of my more controversial series. It was done when I was deep in my trauma as a way to not self-injure, also as a way to transmute into healing. This was included within a documentary on self injury called "Not Without Reason" in which I was featured.
- The Allure: This is the stage that the addiction draws you in with all kinds of promises to stop your pain.
- The Binding: This is where you become addicted to it. You may or may not realize how bad it is for you at this point.
- The Struggle: This is where you are so within the throes of the addiction that it is doing major harm, but you are yet to make the choice to get better.
- The Reformation: This is the painful process of transforming yourself into someone new so you don't need the addiction anymore.
- Freedom: Here you are free of it and able to live your best life.
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TW: Body horror, trauma, rape, addiction, suicide. The art within depicts some heavy topics which can be triggering for some. If you are sensitive, please use caution when viewing the galleries.
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